15 January 2020
The Little Resolution That Could
If you are thinking that I made a new year resolution, you're wrong. It wasn't me. It could have been Grover but I don't speak his dog language. I can tell you it was Mr. S. As his girth steadily expanded during the jolly old holidays he kept saying that January 1, 2020 would be a pivotal day in his life. He wasn't kidding.
On that fateful day, with a visible profile similar to his namesake St. Nicholas, he climbed on his stationary bike while simultaneously cutting back on his calories. For bystanders it was a sight to behold. Wow. No more midnight ham and cheese sandwiches. No more double servings. No ice cream. No more coffee drinks or wicked desserts. This would reference the deadly Bailey's Cream Cheesecake he got for Christmas. Now I feel guilty about that but I'll bet our buddy Albert doesn't... he created this calorie laden confection but it was at my request.
Whether you know him or not, Mr. S is a robust, fun-loving man who was born that way, interrupting his mother's Christmas dinner. His Tillamook High School senior photo shows his class motto as, "For he's a jolly good fellow." I can't remember what mine was but I can tell you it was a close second. Perhaps this was the attraction that drew us together in those Fall months of 1979. In the meantime one thing has not changed. Mr. Jolly Good Fellow visits his favorite tavern daily. The tavern only changes if we: a) MOVE; b) We're on the road; or c) have a doctor's appointment or something similar which lasts all day.
You could be like me and wonder at the calories he consumes in jolly liquids but I have cast those thoughts to the wind. The guy likes to tell stories and drink beer with his buddies and he rarely goes crazy. He takes Grover along with him each day for a romp in ye olde tavern green. Grover keeps him honest and couldn't be happy without his daily outing. Mr. S and Grover are a team. They can't be separated for any length of time because they are best pals. The only difference is that getting our old Grover to eat is a constant battle. Geezer dogs get picky and he REALLY is. Rumor is that he gets a lot of treats during those tavern runs. I need to give up interrogation and just keep putting nightly dog meals out for our little picky eater. When he eats it is cause for celebration at our house. We have so little to entertain us. In the meantime, the gulls and blackbirds are thankful for Grover's picky food habits because the humans are no longer a source of junk food.
While Mr. S has shed a remarkable 12 pounds since the start of the month, I have dropped two whole pounds. Men lose weight when they say they will. Women lose weight when they aren't trying to, getting divorced, or sick from some ailment or hospitalization. I know very few women who say, "I'm going to lose weight!" and then actually do that very thing. It's harder for women I think because we have to cook and snack while we do meal planning. At any rate, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Mr. S is cooking tonight because we trade off every once and awhile. He cooks more when he can go out to the infamous Man Kitchen and not freeze to death. Frozen foods are good. Frozen chefs are not. He's making breakfast and I'm all in for that. I'll be back in the kitchen tomorrow with a low fat, low calorie meal because I know it matters to him. Every pound he drops improves his winter blues. I like that a lot and will do anything I can along those lines to help.
For the record, I miss my Cheetos and Dot's Pretzels. I've thought of buying and stashing them in the garage. This would be a violation of marital vows and a delicious destination of winter treats. I can't bring myself to do this now but it's early in the game. My beloved has 20 more pounds to lose before he calls it quits. He's looking at something in the 240 Gordy range because it sounds good and he can fit into all his really cool shirts.
I see Cheetos in my future very soon because the more he loses... the less he cares about snacks. We've been down this resolution road before and we'll likely do it again but at least we do it together. I'm pretty sure that's why it works... that and the simple fact that men are good at dieting until they get tired of it and then they're not.
That's my new year story and I'm sticking to it. Have a great week, Geezers.